Thursday, April 16, 2009

Great article on the dangers of being child-centered in parenting.

Who's In Control by Jean Liedloff

7 comments:

South Florida Lawyers said...

Very interesting -- there's no question the modern American parent's fixation on their children is out of whack with historical and cultural trends.

Honey said...

While I don't think it would eliminate all conflict, that does seem like a very healthy focus.

I think some conflict comes from the extended periods of adolescence- but might be solved by a different rearing style anyway...

davka said...

Honey, I am glad you read it. I wanted your opinion. I am also reading a book by the same lady called "The Continuum Concept," which we should all read and talk about!

heidi daisybones said...

Thanks for that link... I'd heard of the continuum concept before, and it does have the ring of Truthiness:) My mother-in-law has a great innate grasp of this, and seeing her made it click for me that I needed to be a bit *less* attentive to Her Birdiness Miss Molly.

xoxo!

Thomai said...

read
Summerhill: A radical approach to child rearing
you'll learn about yourself too.
by A.S. Neill

I wrote this when my son was in his teens:
http://metahara.livejournal.com/233376.html

describes the way a parent can respond to the responsibility.

the child's nature, personality, gifts and challenges are unique with every child and - parents ego or not, those are things the parent can't control.
You do your best and it is still not the end all be all-
you teach your child, but, you are not your childs only teacher.

a re-minder for the women who don't have children:
you don't have to have a child- it is an unnecessary sacrifice-
when it comes to the desire to love and nurture a child, there are too many to count in your own neighborhood who could use love, guidance, support, nurturing, encouragement. Try that out first.
People who don't make time to volunteer, ought to think about that before having a child.
Those who say they just have to feel pregnancy are delusional- it is 8-9 months- such a tiny part of parenting.

"If you love something enough, it will tell you it's secrets" George Washington Carver

Rise above ordinary consciousness.

Renee said...

The Continuum Concept is an amazing book. A must read for anyone who'd even consider reproducing in this day and age...

To get that balance where the kid isn't the center of the Mom's universe is hard tho, when she has no village/support-system so then some attachment-parented babies do just turn into entitled little brats.

Thomai said...

a gift from single motherhood was learning to create support system any and everywhere.