See-And-Know-This

Ceanothus

What is it?

The privilege to kiss these lips
Any.
Time.
I Want?

The license to look once over all over all about ownership and not and all in time and not and say this is me and not and mine and not and right now, it's not

hurting

how ______ is a mirror

a rain puddle I can look down upon to see myself with wings of a rainbow arching out of my side behind my eyes inside the vibration of concentric circles that radiate out of my fingertips when I reach down and touch the illusion for real for what seems like real or sunlight and motor oil or maybe glitter eyeshadow in my lash playing tricks on my mind, whatever the surface, it's calm and I can't tell you the last time

I loved myself so purely.

Braving the emptiness inside, seeing the lies that led me there to what was called "love" before

is now land. I fell hard and hit the ground running because the ground is solid and real and never cares who I'm crying about

and this love is full of creatures who respond to my heart, my heat, all over my skin they crawl and come with wings and want

nothing more than I can give. Remember when we both confessed and agreed

that we sometimes saw flowers unfolding
when we came
and sometimes our desires were so dirty
and both were ok, natural?
Define it.

See it and know it.

Cricket in my shoe, stay overnight. The ladybug larvae who came home on my clothes, but didn't make it. The possum who watched me pee under the moon that was full, the desires we have but keep secret: to the reality of you, not the divinity: we are waxing and waning still. We are still

here. We survived this, me

and my body
on earth.

The water was cold in the creek, but how could I not submerge myself?
I want you so bad.